A Very Star Wars New Years
by Alexa Wessner
Summary: This story is very insane. Join Luke, Leia and Han as they struggle to find what to do on New Years. Join them to find what they need to wear. Have fun, read please!!!


Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars don't sue me.  
  
A Very Star War's New Years  
  
"Leia," Whined Luke in the super market, by the rotted fish area. "What are we going to do for New Years?" He asked in a whiney tone.  
  
"Um, I don't know, it's not New Years yet, don't look at me!" Leia snapped.  
  
Han added, "Um, tomorrow's the day before New Year's Eve, I think we should plan what we'll do."  
  
Luke whined, "Han, tomorrow's not the day before New Year's Eve, tomorrow's New Year's Eve Eve!  
  
Han shrugged, "Oh, my mistake." Leia then began putting rotten fish into the cart. Luke fainted from the fumes as Han gagged and vomited all over the floor. Leia's nostrils were too busy consuming large amounts of crack to smell the hideous fish. After Luke regained consciousness, Han's stomach settled and Leia redeemed herself from getting high, they all went to home to their separate apartments to get sleep.  
  
At Han's apartment, He threw off his SPIDER-MAN Velcro sneakers which the heel's light up and plopped on his bed which had Toy Story 2 bed sheets and a Lion King Pillowcase. He the turned on his small, crappy T.V and put in his favorite movie, 101 Dalmatians. After the tape broke because he thought there was a spider (one that kind of looked like the one in SPIDER- MAN) attacking him and then threw fruit punch at the VCR, he decided to turn on the T.V. Han turned on Nickelodeon and watched his favorite show, The Fairly Odd Parents- an important TV show in his life. He had Chewbacca over for a sleepover, and got so hung over from drinking too much beer that they fell asleep.  
  
Luke's dear old dad came over to give him a few lessons. You know the basics: Don't sniff glue, don't eat crayons, don't do drugs, don't hang out with smugglers from Corillia, don't fall in love with you're sister, stuff like that. Luke then asked a question out of no where. "Daddy, are you ever scared?"  
  
Darth Vader replied, "Everything the light touches is our kingdom," kind of sounding like Mufasa from the Lion King, "Whoops! Sorry wrong movie."  
  
Luke whined, "Daddy, you didn't answer me!"  
  
"Um, Cheese?" He answered, not sure of the question.  
  
Luke said, "Oh, okay, good answer. But Daddy, sometimes you do get scared."  
  
"What no I don't!" Vader replied.  
  
"Yeah you do!" Screamed Luke like an annoying 6-year-old. "You were scared when I ran away that day in the parking lot of Dairy Barn."  
  
"What, Dairy Barn is a drive through, there's no parking lot, besides you were four-years-old." Vader said.  
  
Luke then added, "Now I'm 24. "(Takes place during ROTJ)  
  
"Your still 4, Luke." Vader Corrected.  
  
"No, I'm 24!" Said Luke.  
  
"You act like you're 4." commented his father. "Hey, I'm still that 19-year-old guy that looks a lot like Hayden Christenson."  
  
Luke corrected, "Um dad, you're 45."  
  
"Oh where did the years go?" said Vader shocked, at the same time, annoyed. He then tucked his so-called 4-year-old daughter, I mean son into his pink Barbie bed with matching comforter and sheets and gave him a kiss good night on the forehead. Vader left Luke's crummy apartment, which was painted pink and hopped in his Lamborghini Diablo and drove away.  
  
Leia drove her Chevy back to her house. Some kids threw rocks at her car and dented the bumper, broke one of the back windows, cracked the windshield, put a hole in the oil tank, and completely wrecked the car. Leia decided Chevy weren't built like a rock. She went into her apartment. She fell asleep and had nightmares. She had bad dreams about hidden earrings in Christmas balls, Yoda Giga Pets (A/N- Yes, I have one), and dirty socks behind her closet wearing shoehorns as hats.  
  
They all awoke on New Year's Eve Eve, thinking Vader was a clumsy egghead on steroids, Leia was stoned, fat, and smoking marijuana, Luke was a pretty priceless princess in pink, Han was Han Don Taun poop in Wan-tan soup. Han, Luke and Leia had a dorky "play date" at Barns & Nobles the bookstore. They all thought together and decided to have a New Year's Eve party at the Discovery Zone or DZ!  
  
It was a great idea, but they still needed to find out what to wear. They all went shopping and split up in different stores. Leia went to Macys, Abercrombie and Fitch, the Gap, Old Navy, and Sears. Han went to Electronic Chairs and Shoes, and Goodwill, and Luke went to the Children's Place, and Limited Too. They then went to Payless all together to buy shoes.  
  
On New Year's Eve, Leia put on her Old Navy hip hugger pants, Abercrombie and Fitch T-shirt and an over size Gap sweatshirt. She slipped on her new knock-off Sketchers she got for half price at payless and put on her Hat that read: Coke is for the devil, and a bag that read: Brothers should be dead for there appearance on Earth. (This part would be very familiar to you if you have read my Back to School Shopping story.) She then hopped into her Chevy and was on her way to DZ.  
  
Han sadly did not find anything in Electronic Chairs and Shoes, so he put on his Gothic Look and wore his red Go Right Go Carbonate shirt that he got at Goodwill. (also in the Back to School Shopping story) . He wore his Velcro Rugrats sneakers where the heels light up again. He went in his wagon and sailed away to DZ.  
  
Luke wore a whole outfit from the Children's Place. He wore this dorky blue fuzzy sweater with a tacky flower on it, a blue and yellow plaid skirt, with a matching headband and knee high navy blue socks. He was thinking of getting something from Limited Too, because those Lizzy Maguire shirts were really stylish, but he changed his mind. He hopped in his Barbie Beach Buggy, which he had gotten for Christmas since he had wanted one since Halloween. (My Halloween Read Beware You're in for a Scare story.) He was on his way to DZ.  
  
They all met up, accept the place was closed so they had it all to themselves and they started bowling. They had such a good time, playing all the fun games they had. Han played the things where you win money and prizes by doing some hard impossible task, Leia played the Jurassic Park game, and Luke played in the ball pit. Soon it was almost midnight. Luke ran to the tom of the Ball pit and held a cheep, red, plastic ball over the ball pit about to drop it at the count of midnight. Han and Leia looked ant their watches and counted down, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 HAPPY NEW YEARS! Luke then dropped the ball into the pit and they all cheered "2003, we have to pee! 2003 pee on a tree!" The spent the whole New Years Day at DZ together and had lots of fun together the whole year through! THE END! 


End file.
